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Rugby Men...
Rugby men, they play one
Sucking them is like my thumb
Chorus:
With a knick-knack, patty-whack, send the boys away...
They can't please us anyway!
Rugby men, they play two
They can't get it up to screw
Rugby men, they play three
They think sex is for free
Rugby men, they play four
They can't get it up to score
Rugby men, they play five
When they push they have no drive
Rugby men, they play six
Little men with little dicks
Rugby men, they play seven
Masturbation is there heaven
Rugby men, they play eight
They can't get their dicks up straight
Rugby men, they play nine
They all take it from behind
Rugby men, they play ten
I have had enought of men!
Chorus:
With a knick-knack, patty-whack, send the boys away...
Women's rugby's what we play!
I used to work in Chicago
This is a guys song, we need to get some verses for the women ruggers!
Soloists volunteer for each verse by raising their beer.
I used to work in Chicago, at the old department store
I used to work in Chicago, I don't work there anymore
A woman come in for some paper!
Some paper from the store?
Paper she wanted, a ream she got!
Oohh! I don't work there anymore!
I used to work in Chicago, at the old department store
I used to work in Chicago, I don't work there anymore
A woman come in for some paper!
Some jewelry from the store?
Jewelry she wanted, a pearl necklace she got!
Oohh! I don't work there anymore!
And similarly:
Carpet she wanted, shagged she got
Nail she wanted, screwed she got
Fishing rod she wanted, my pole she got
Meat she wanted, my sausage she got
Beef she wanted, porked she got
Helicopter she wanted, my chopper she got
Camel she wanted, humped she got
Translator she wanted, cunning linguist she got
Fuck she wanted, fuck she got
The Ruggers Go Marching
The ruggers go marching one by one, Ruck on! Ruck on!
The ruggers go marching one by one, Ruck on! Ruck on!
The ruggers go marching one by one,
The little one stops to set the scrum
And they all go marching down....
(Where?) To the pitch (Why?) To play in the mud, boom, boom, boom
Two by two -- go to the loo
Three by three -- tape a knee
Four by four -- try to score
Five by five -- sink and drive
Six by six -- scope for chicks
Seven by seven -- pick up Kevin (Who's Kevin? Who knows? Who cares?)
Eight by eight -- masturbate
Nine by nine -- lay the line
Ten by ten -- fuck a hen (why? Cause beastiality's best, boys...)
Monday's a Working Day
Leader: Monday's a working day
All: Monday's a working day
Chorus:
Leader: How's your mother?
All: Alright!
Leader: How's your father?
All: Outta sight!
Leader: How's your sister?
All: Too tight!
Leader: When's the last time?
All: Last night!
Leader: When's the next time?
All: Tonight!
Leader: Is everybody happy?
All: You bet your ass we are!
All: Doot, doot, de doot, doot, doo. Doot, de doot, doot, doo.
Leader: Monday's a working day
All: Monday's a working day
Leader: Tuesday's a drinking day
All: Tuesday's a drinking day
Chorus
Wednesday's a smoking day
Thursday's an Ahhh day
Friday's a fucking day
Saturday's a rugby day
Sunday's a holy day
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